Okay, I feel like writing in english, hope you don't mind... Today has been much more complicated than what I could have supposed it would be: as I said in my former article I received a GR8 news this morning, the kind of news which is gonna change your life... but from that very moment I realised that my life is a real mess _well, I knew it before but now it's much more obvious and I HAVE to do smth about it, I cannot put it off as I am used to do... Still, you must be wondering what the hell I'm talking about: the truth is I am at a crossroad in my life and I have to make a choice about what on earth I'm gonna do next year and where I'm gonna be... and it's not just about where I'd like to be but where it would be better for me to be... (I don't know if it's clear) and the best part of it is that I am not the only one who has to make the choice, people I know nothing about have also to decide about it... and there's one place where I already have my place, waiting for me to come, and I want to go there, I really do ... but it's so far away that I know it would hurt my mother to let me go... though she has always said she would when I was looking for the perfect place for me... but here again, I don't think she truly beleived I would be ABLE to go, she simply couldn't imagine it possible. And now, now I can go, I can take the first plane in August, say good bye to everybody and fly away... it's what I have always wanted... 'til today... today I know it's truly POSSIBLE for me to go and just when what you have always wished for comes true you realise that maybe... just maybe it is not the best for you, is it??? I don't know anymore... My best friend tells me it is, my brother too... BUT there's my mother and my father who would wish me nearer than at the far end of the world! And as I told you many times I have to take this stupid exam next Monday and now... now it is seems nonsensical: there's simply no point in working hard to pass it anymore! I'm loosing my ground! and that's what my parents fear most: that I will not take it seriously and give it up in a way or even purposely mess it up! That I promise I won't but the truth is I don't WANT to work for it anymore! it was already hard to be still at work when everybody's on vacation, now it seems pointless... In the end I also have to move out from my appt on Friday, many papers to write and to send, suitcases to pack etc... Well, I hope it doesn't sound as if I'm always complaining it's just to see things more clearly ;,)